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December 13, 2007

the mouse chronicles

a while back, after we got back from a trip, jenn mentioned that she kept hearing noises in the wall, and thought we had mice in the house. we didn't have any traps, and i kind of forgot about it. a few days later i went into my office to work, and noticed that the ziploc bag full of peanuts was (a) ripped open, and (b) completely empty. hmmm, guess it's time for a trap or two. we got some newfangled traps (link) which are easier to set without risking snapping your own fingers. i put a couple peanuts in them and set them. sure enough, mr. mouse got greedy and met his maker. problem solved. bury him in the woods.

afterward, i got to thinking, "how the hell did a little mouse eat all those peanuts in one night?" i figured either mice can eat way more than you think in a short time, or he stashed them away for later. i couldn't find them, and i assume he hid them well anyway. after about half a day i forgot all about it.

a week later my printer was acting funny. i opened it up to check it out and found about 50 peanuts inside. i can hear the voice coming from mouse heaven: "dude, you just got PUNK'D!!!!"

fast forward a couple months. no mouse issues to speak of. arriving in my office one day, i had just sat down when i noticed my trail mix bag was empty. not ripped, just empty. hmmm, i don't recall eating all my trail mix, and if i had, i would have thrown away the bag. *sigh*, time for more traps. i set 2 in the office and one in the storage area. that night, i had moved to the guest room at about 5 am because nate was coughing and i didn't want it to wake jenn, too. (aren't i chivalrous?) nate was coughing for an hour, so no sleep for me until 6. at 6:15 i woke up to a "bang!" and then a "skitter-skitter-skitter". i had no clue what it was until i realized that the guest room was directly above the storage area downstairs. i surmised that i had just stood by and did nothing while the mouse (let's call her "kitty genovese") died a horrible death. again, bury in the woods. this time, though, i made the mistake of looking the mouse in the eyes before the dirt was shoveled on. big, black, sad eyes that said, "why did you have to kill me, sir? i was only trying to provide food for my family, just like you." i can only imagine the same thing happening to me: spend a ton of time writing a bunch of code for a release to get paid so i can buy my family some food, then BAM! something chops my head off. fun times.

afterward, jenn asked if i found the trail mix. (remember, a mouse can't eat a whole bag of trail mix.) i looked around but no luck.

fast forward a week. nate and i decided to put up the christmas decorations outside. we gathered them all up from the very back of the storage room and took them outside. we were putting up the spiral christmas trees (link) one by one. when we got to the third one, we slid the tray out of the box and there, in the back of the box with the christmas tree, was about 100 pieces of trail mix. peanuts, m&ms, raisins.

i worked backward to figure out what this little mouse had to do to get 100 pieces of trail mix in this box. here's how it went:

1. Exhaustively research the schedule of all people and dogs in the house to determine best time to act.
   
2. Plan for the attack, mentally and physically.
   
3. Put on mouse-o-flage.
   
4. Determine that the coast is clear. Commence plan.
   
5. Walk 25 feet from storage room to office.
   
6. Somehow climb up 3 feet to desk surface.
   
7. Enter bag of trail mix without ripping it.
   
8. Take as many pieces as possible. [At most 3, maybe 4.]
   
9. Climb down.
   
10. Walk 25 feet to get to the storage room door, plus another 10 to get to the boxes.
    
11. Climb up 2 plastic tubs and then 3 think christmas tree boxes. Enter box and go to back. Drop stash.
    
12. Goto step 5. Do this 25-30 times.
    

after i saw that i realized that i may have killed the entrepreneur who may have started the next Yahoo! or Google in the mouse world. oops.

fast forward a week. traps still set -- when it rains, it pours. checking them periodically, nothing yet. i came back from dinner to my office and was greeted by a bad odor. found some mouse droppings. cleaned them up. still smelled. minnie (that's my dog), came in and started sniffing around. was particularly interested in one area. when i looked to see what she was doing, i instantly realized that there was a trap there that i had didn't check for like 3 days. that would be the smell. good thing it was garbage night -- i wasn't up for a funeral.

last night, found more mouse droppings under the sink. set more traps. stay tuned...

Posted by eburke at December 13, 2007 2:50 PM

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